Torment de l'ame (anglais)

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The Wish of the Tormented Soul
I wish I had known… I wish I knew what was going to happen. If I knew the conclusion of this affaire I would have not acted the way I did. Wishing to reversethings that have already passed is like hoping for rain in the driest part of the Sahara. Wish… the word seems untouchable, invincible almost. I will never forget that day, it was the day I destroyed hisworld.

I told you it’s over, I need someone that’s not afraid to speak his mind, to tell me when I’m out of line. I needed to end it, my family is moving to South Carolina this coming summerand I want him to move on before that time comes. Boy it sure killed me seeing him like that, his head was down into the dirt trying to hide the apparent tears that were streaming down his face. Wasit heartless to end it this way? I feel it was my only choice, do not judge me on my decision as it was mine to make. Do I ever like him… the way he always used to smile whenever he saw me, or how heused to make cookies in the shape of hearts every morning. No, don’t you get it? I don’t want to be with you anymore, I never wanted to be with you. I just wanted someone to be there in case I neededit, I have felt nothing for you all this time. My very soul chilled when these words came out. I had liked him ever since I can remember; he was all I ever dreamed about, all I ever wanted. You couldsay perhaps that I loved him. Yes I would say that to be accurate. And here I was being coldhearted and soulless with no regard to how he would react. I really wish he would stop following me, it’shard enough not to show despair in the configuration of my face. Stop following me you little puppet, that’s all you ever do is follow me and feed on my every action, do I ever lo… loathe you! I almostsaid it, it would have ruined everything and I’m glad I was able to contain it. I never want to see you again! I don’t know why I said it… I know at this point you are thinking that I am harsh but...