Dealing With Criticism, Guilt and Shame in the Classroom

by Stephen T. McClard - Superiored.com When you think of shame, what comes to your mind? How about guilt? Many people associate shame and guilt as one emotion, but in reality they are very different. By definition, guilt is the "I have done someting bad" emotion. By contrast, shame is the "I am bad" emotion. As you continue reading, consider how your actions can impact guilt or shame in a child. Ask yourself if there may be ways to change these emotions into success for your students.

Shame is felt when others are aware of our incorrect intentions or actions and can often lead to feelings of worthlessness. Guilt, on the other hand, is the emotion that is felt when no one else knows about our intentions or actions. I clarify this because it makes a noticeable difference to the person making the choice. The difference between success and failure in dealing with our classroom management can depend on our perception of these two emotions.

A high percentage of poor behavior in the classroom will elicit neither shame nor guilt. This is because the individual taking the action may be unaware of the impact his/her actions have on others, or they may simply lack the related values associated with their actions. Dealing with poor behavior then boils down to the impact we have as educators when revealing the poor behavior to the student.

Evoking a guilt response in the student is an inevitable result of negative feedback. Avoiding this certainty will only allow the problem to fester. If we can first elicit a guilt response indirectly, we create the best chance for success. Allowing the student the autonomy to choose the correct path will be the most effective way to make first contact with poor behavior. Evoking guilt in a student indirectly can be very powerful and may allow the student to avoid shame. Guilt can lead to empathy if skillfully managed for the success of the student.